“And He said to them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her. Also, if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.” ‭‭Mark‬ ‭10:11-12‬ ‭HCSB‬‬

We have seen that the act of sexual relations causes us to be united to the other individual as one. But how does this affect the other people who we have been united with? Several of us know so well that adultery hurts because we have made the statement that I am totally committed to you. But after a period of time that commitment fads and we are left with a wandering mind to stay or move on. It would be best to stay, for this is God’s desire for us. And to move on would be sin because then we have chosen to commit adultery against our last spouse. But then if we decide to be unified with that new person when does adultery stop and they become our one and only. For those who have been married several times at what point are you freed from the past marriage and blessed in your new marriage? these are had questions to respond to. Let me make myself clear. I have only been with one person physically. So I have only one person whom I am joined to. But Jesus has said in ‭‭Matthew‬ ‭5:28

“But I tell you, everyone who looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”

‭‭Matthew‬ ‭5:28‬ ‭HCSB‬‬

https://www.bible.com/72/mat.5.28.hcsb

I would say my heart has not always been true to my wife. It is a shame I live with. It does not define me, but it is part of my past that I am not proud of. And I can see how easily someone could be lured away from their one and only. 

We see in Moses Law that God did not let someone who left a husband for another return to her first husband after leaving the second.

“If a man marries a woman, but she becomes displeasing to him because he finds something improper about her, he may write her a divorce certificate, hand it to her, and send her away from his house. If after leaving his house she goes and becomes another man’s wife, and the second man hates her, writes her a divorce certificate, hands it to her, and sends her away from his house or if he dies, the first husband who sent her away may not marry her again after she has been defiled, because that would be detestable to the Lord. You must not bring guilt on the land the Lord your God is giving you as an inheritance.”

‭‭Deuteronomy‬ ‭24:1-4‬ ‭HCSB‬‬

https://www.bible.com/72/deu.24.1-4.hcsb

So then from this, are we released from the marriage commitment once we are united to another? In some ways yes, but in other ways no. I believe that God still sees us as one even if we have many we have been united with. It would the same as we have multiple wives. And God commands those who have multiple wives to not reduce the allowance of food or clothing. 

“If he takes an additional wife, he must not reduce the food, clothing, or marital rights of the first wife.”

‭‭Exodus‬ ‭21:10‬ ‭HCSB‬‬

https://www.bible.com/72/exo.21.10.hcsb

But how do we resolve the command to reduce the marital right of the first? For we have left and been joined to another and now we are commanded to fulfill the marital rights of our current wife. 

Here in America, it is illegal to have multiple wives, but in the days of Jacob and David, it was not. Never in America will you hear your wife say, “I have stopped having kids for you take my best friend and have kids through her.” But this is exactly what Lea and Rachel said to Jacob.

“Then she said, “Here is my slave Bilhah. Go sleep with her, and she’ll bear children for me so that through her I too can build a family.”

When Leah saw that she had stopped having children, she took her slave Zilpah and gave her to Jacob as a wife.”

‭‭Genesis‬ ‭30:3, 9‬ ‭HCSB‬‬

https://www.bible.com/72/gen.30.3,9.hcsb

This whole topic is confusing for me. I cannot resolve all these issues. I probably already have made it too long, but I leave you with this.

It is best, only to be united to one spouse for your whole life. If however, you find yourself in a relationship after several fail relationships then be committed to this one and make it your last so that it will last and not be another failed relationship. For your perfect soul mate is the one you are with now. Figure out how to make it work for you are one. What God has joined together let no person separate.