Proper role of Husbands and Wives

​“Hear this word, you cows of Bashan who are on the mountain of Samaria, Who oppress the poor, who crush the needy, Who say to your husbands, “Bring now, that we may drink!”

‭‭Amos‬ ‭4:1‬ ‭NASB1995‬‬

https://bible.com/bible/100/amo.4.1.NASB1995

Twice women have been referred to as cows in the Bible. Once here and once in Judges 14:18. 

We 

“So the men of the city said to him on the seventh day before the sun went down, “What is sweeter than honey? And what is stronger than a lion?” And he said to them, “If you had not plowed with my heifer, You would not have found out my riddle.”

‭‭Judges‬ ‭14:18‬ ‭NASB1995‬‬

https://bible.com/bible/100/jdg.14.18.NASB1995

Both times the women are not living in their role as women. In Judges, we see that she was working for the Philistines against her husband Samson. And here is Amos we find that they were oppressing the poor, crushing the needy, and telling their husbands to serve them. In both cases, these women were taken away from their natural relationship and given to another. Samson’s wife was given to one of Samson’s Philistine friends. And here in Amos, the women of Bashan were taken captive by meat hooks and fish hooks through their broken-down walls. 

Upon further inquiry, the word for cow is different in each passage. 

Amos uses “pārâ” which is used elsewhere as the red heifer and milk cows. Judges uses “eglâ” which is used elsewhere as full-grown heifers, heifers as a sacrifice. Amos is referencing young women still of childbearing age. And Samson was saying that his “wife“ was useless to him. 

But I am not here that we take up the same response to our wives as Amos or Samson did, but we look to them as proverbs 31 and Solomon does. 

“An excellent wife, who can find? For her worth is far above jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, And he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil All the days of her life. She looks for wool and flax And works with her hands in delight.”

‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭31:10-13‬ ‭NASB1995‬‬

https://bible.com/bible/100/pro.31.10-13.NASB1995

“Let your fountain be blessed, And rejoice in the wife of your youth. As a loving hind and a graceful doe, Let her breasts satisfy you at all times; Be exhilarated always with her love.”

‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭5:18-19‬ ‭NASB1995‬‬

https://bible.com/bible/100/pro.5.18-19.NASB1995

“To me, my darling, you are like My mare among the chariots of Pharaoh.”

‭‭Song of Solomon‬ ‭1:9‬ ‭NASB1995‬‬

https://bible.com/bible/100/sng.1.9.NASB1995

I like the way the NLT finishes Hosea 4:1. 

“Who are always calling to your husbands, “Bring us another drink!”

‭‭Amos‬ ‭4:1‬ ‭NLT‬‬

https://bible.com/bible/116/amo.4.1.NLT

They have reversed the natural role of wives as servants to the husband but the husbands were to be the servants. Who’s the boss? Ultimately the husband! But not in a lord over the wife but as a co-equal viewing her as the weaker vessel. 

“In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior. You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered.”

‭‭1 Peter‬ ‭3:1-2, 7‬ ‭NASB1995‬‬

https://bible.com/bible/100/1pe.3.1-7.NASB1995

Husband, do you Love your wife as Christ Loves the church? Wives, do you respect your husband as the Church should respect Christ? 

“Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless. So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church, because we are members of His body. For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and shall be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church. Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband.”

‭‭Ephesians‬ ‭5:22-33‬ ‭NASB1995‬‬

https://bible.com/bible/100/eph.5.22-33.NASB1995

“Wives, be subject to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not be embittered against them.”

‭‭Colossians‬ ‭3:18-19‬ ‭NASB1995‬‬

https://bible.com/bible/100/col.3.19.NASB1995

God is the ultimate Boss of both, husbands and wives, and we must submit to His plan and His designed role for each other!